my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
