i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
