Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
