Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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