I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
