i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
