hotel room ftw
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
