nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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