i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
