Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
