Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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