I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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