I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
