fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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