is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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