He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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