I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We're too hungover to prance.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
