There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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