i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
