dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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