porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
