wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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