when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
