girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
