I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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