It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
PANTIES FOUND
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