I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
