im gay
i know
yea but for you.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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