So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize