Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
