come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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