I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
