3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I love having hate sex.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
