she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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