some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My Sexting was not on an AP level
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
