He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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