I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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