I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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