Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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