she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize