Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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