we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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