ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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