So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We were destined to go to rehab together
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
