I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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