You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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