I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize