Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize