I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
