I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
