she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i've created a new STD.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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