And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
