Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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