my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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