a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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