Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
