There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
