At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
