I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My dick has a subreddit
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
