How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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