So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize