I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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