he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
