Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
