Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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